Dear Chokai, (A love letter to a mt)

“Climb the mountains and get their good tidings. Nature's peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees. The winds will blow their own freshness into you, and the storms their energy, while cares will drop off like autumn leaves.”

Dear Mt Chokai,

Although I thoroughly enjoyed our hike (sarcasm), I have to take issue with a few “problems” I encountered while trying to conqueror your summit. First I find fault with myself for going out on Friday and staying up till 130 am. However I could not and would not go to bed any earlier, there are certain social scenes I must attend and the “North Block” pot luck was one of them. I know what your thinking...I am not in the North Block, you have no friends in the north block...why would you need to attend.

Well Mt. Chokai, this is precisely why I must attend to meet people and be plugged in to the social pipeline. So the two hours of sleep is my fault... I take full responsibility.

So as I lay awake at 330 am on Saturday, I thought to myself, there is no fucking way I am going to hike today. I wanted to lay in bed, sleep all day, watch tv, relax, have some wine and gourmet food. But... I thought I cant miss this trip, we have been planning it for weeks, months even. What would my friends say if I pussed out, I would never be invited on another excursion again. And I thought “this hike wont be so hard”, I have met the physically inept people that have hiked you before, if they can do it, i can no problem.

Well Chokai how wrong I was, how utterly wrong I was.... You were one bitch of a mt, a complete ass kicking of a summit, if you were a women you would be ann coulter. It was all fun and games before I started to climb, a great car ride, beautiful landscapes, the crisp cool air that awoken your senses, the camaraderie we shared before we made our journey up. From the minute I set foot on your wretched path, I knew this was going to be no stroll in the park. A hike is supposed to be exhilarating and strenuous while still relaxing and fun. You were none of the ladder, a hike is supposed to give you periodic reprieve from its elements... you did not. You went straight up for 5 solid hours. You did not offer a dirt path which was easy on the feet. You instead bestowed upon us a jagged , rocky path which I could feel with each step I took. My heart felt like it was going to burst out of my chest, my legs felt as if I had been doing wall squats for 10 hours, my body was hot, achy , and hating life...But I marched on, why you may ask? Well Chokai, there are a few reasons, the first with each switch back and turn I thought this has to get easier, the end has to be near.. but you were like a high school tease. Only giving me enough to keep going but never allowing me the satisfaction of making it all the way... The second reason I trudged on, the numerous 80 year old japanese women that were gingerly walking up you like they were floating on air. They are soooo cute... these little japanese women with there perfect hiking gear, their brand new wind resistant north face, their hip to the scene 2011 hiking pants, the bear bells they wear to alert the non existent mammal of their presence. How in the fucking world do these women do it, i dont know nor do i want to know. I think I am in decent shape, but you chokai humbled my manly existence. You showed me the true definition of strength... .japanese grandmas.

Well Chokai, as you know i made it to your summit 5 long and grueling hours later. I was too tired to be joyous and to angry to enjoy the scenery. So how do you repay me for making it to the top, with an even tougher descent. Going downhill is supposed to be the easy part, this was not so. I descended with much reluctance knowing how you beat me to a pulp on the way up. You did not disappoint, you made my knees buckle, my back twist, my head ache, my legs cry. I cursed you on the way down, I wished you dead, I wanted to never see you again.... But when I made it to the end, I have never felt... WORSE. I wanted to fucking die, there was no joy or feeling of accomplishment. I felt like the gang from Goodfellas had just beaten me with a bat, in fact I much rather of preferred that.

Well Chokai, we will meet again in the spring and I am going to kick your ass!